The Vicious Cycle

It's Friday again, then Saturday, Sunday, WHAT?

Any of you have exhausting weeks, compiling responsibilities, limited attention and yet the highest of hopes you’ll get it all done tomorrow? That’s usually how my Sunday evening starts. I begin with my + / - / —> exercise where I lay out what went well during the week past, what went poorly and what I want to achieve in the upcoming week. I tend to let the same items fester in the (—> ) category and then lambast myself in the (-) column for not achieving the item from last week’s attempt (My expense report tends to fall in that category but so do much bigger, less task oriented items). Sunday night, full of hope and excitement for the seven days ahead - what could go wrong…

Monday rolls around and you jump start the engine to build fluidity for the week. Lots of weekend recap banter, morning meetings, afternoon catchups and strategizing for what’s ahead. You have all those starred emails from last week and you hope to finally get around to them….ehhhh do I have to? Tuesday, weekly inspiration from Monday begins to trail off and you’re in the thick of the work week - consumed by all the things that felt like they rolled over from the week before - you’re in reactive mode. What felt important at the end of last week starts to get superseded by the priorities arising from this week. Wednesday is here and you’re trying to be proactive, keep the routine of the first half going but you know you’re at the hump and the good times are just around the corner. Last week’s worries and priorities have been completely recalculated in your mind - are they still something we need to do? Thursday and its fading; you want to close up on a high note because you know Friday’s attention is about to get stretched, it is the summer after all. Last week is the most distant of memories, now you’re back to looking forward. It’s Friday again, then SATURDAY, SUNDAY, WHAT!

So what happened to those dreams and intentions of the prior week? Did they get swept under the rug, only to reappear during spring cleaning? Did we come to realize that they’re not worth elevating to our attention today? That’s the sadness of inspiration slippage and a finite attention span. The things we really wanted to achieve and prioritize of yesterday feel like they’ve gotten squashed today by our other, newfound priorities. This is the cycle that I often find myself in and can fall victim to. I find myself falling prey to this vicious cycle most when my deepest energies aren’t aligned.

We all have energies flowing through us. I’m not talking about transmission lines and caffeine induced jitteriness, these energies are something much deeper. Sometimes our lives are in eustress where you desperately don’t want time to slip. Your energies are flowing in perfect synchronicity; your appreciation, gratitude and productivity levels are mutually revving on high. Then you have times where your energies are off-balance, things feel short, uninteresting, and banal. In times of good flow (mazal, as we call it) we treat every moment as if it’s the most precious thing. In times of struggle or low energy, we often wish our time away - hoping for better times ahead. Those low points can often be extremely frustrating when we know, and remember, what it felt like when things were in sync. Even further, these challenging moments start to feel threatening if you look at the finality of life - like our friend Tim Urban - you don’t want to gloss over even one circle.

I used to get upset at my wife when she would say, “ugh, I just want this week to be over.” I would retort with “NEVER wish time away!” Now, I often find myself falling prey to her same mentality - and it scares me. I find myself often wishing certain things would speed up so that we can arrive at something sweeter.

If you’ve ever been working on a project or engaged in something you absolutely love, you know how my retort can feel. You know that time is such a limited resource and you’ll do just about anything to have more of it and gamify the shot click to put more time on the board. Any great effort or project is the love child of time - the resource that you wish you only had more to dedicate. On the flip side, sometimes when you’re between projects or in a lull, you wish time away and yearn for the stretch of time that you can focus on something you’re deeply passionate. That’s where the fallacy of working for the weekend tends to live (cheers to you Loverboy). It means that you’re so much more passionately engaged in the things you do during the 48 hours stretch between Friday night and Sunday night than you are during the 120 hours from Monday to Friday. That signals a problem to me. That’s a viscous cycle and one we need to recognize and correct. When I find myself wishing away time, that’s usually when I know I’m on the wrong track and I need to redirect my efforts. When tomorrow is this fantasy land where we reassure ourselves we’ll accomplish our goals and aspirations, that’s when we need to rethink what today really means us.